Well today there was a little chat in the office about one of the guys who apparently is really shy but wont take no for an answer. I understand why they are all like they are. But if they could understand what its like to have no confidence in yourself. I personally get a bit distressed I had to go for a walk down the road. I thought that I was getting over everything thats been going but It bought all of the last few weeks crashing back on me. Although I would never actually want to force myself onto anyone. Its only the fact that I have seen what its like to have someone who is special to you... I dont really have that many people that I call FRIENDS. But after all thats happened I feel very down & if i am honest I would rather die than spend the next 10-20 years of my life without anyone to be close too.
There are many things people dont understand life how we are all different, I personally am finding it hard to talk to people that I used to call my friends. Not only that but I am now getting into the state where I just want to be on my own.
I sometimes wish that the people who are good to you. Would just let you get on with it.
I would profer to be confident and and not shy but I dont think I will ever be that way no matter what I do in my life. I have lost all my trust in people.
Being kind and loving gets you no where in life.
Having a bit of a better time. now....actually talking to someone.
Dave
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